Becoming pregnant and growing into parenthood brings both positive and negative feelings. That can mean having mixed feelings about being pregnant. It is normal to feel anxious, happy, excited, scared, awed and uncertain plus many other emotions.
It can help to share your feelings. Talk with your partner, family member or friend. If you don't feel comfortable talking with someone you know, talk with your health care provider.
Pregnancy hormones affect your emotions as well as your body. In addition, not getting enough sleep and dealing with physical discomforts can make you feel overwhelmed at times. As a result, you may have unpredictable mood swings. Although they are normal, these mood swings can be unsettling. They usually decrease by the second trimester.
If you are concerned about feeling depressed or not feeling like yourself, talk with your health care provider right away. The stress of pregnancy can lead to or can worsen depression. At least one in 10 pregnant people become depressed. If you're depressed, there is help available. Talk with your health care provider for resources in your community.
Enhancing your sense of wellness
Ways to enhance your sense of wellness include:
- Make sleep a priority. Rest often.
- Eat a healthful diet for energy to combat the stresses of pregnancy. (See weight gain and nutrition.)
- Take a walk each day. Mild exercise can help you feel and sleep better.
- Accept help when it is offered for things such as household chores and shopping.
- Educate yourself about pregnancy and birth.
- Visualize your baby floating comfortably in your uterus. Think of you and your baby doing a wonderful job together.
- Plan time to share your feelings and hopes for the baby.
- Celebrate the parent that you are becoming.
Integrative therapies treat the whole person - body, mind and spirit - at the same time. It puts the person at the center to restore or maintain their health.
The Penny George Institute for Health and Healing offers education to promote wellness, the prevention of illness and healing.
For more information on services offered by the Penny George Institute or to schedule an appointment, call 612-863-333.
Mixed emotions
Whether your pregnancy was planned or unplanned, it’s natural to have mixed emotions about it. You may swing from excited to worried, or happy to sad and back again. Pregnancy hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone can contribute to giving you this mix of emotional highs and lows, especially in the first three months.
“I did start to doubt myself, thinking ‘Am I doing something wrong? Is my body not right?’ It can be quite daunting thinking, ‘Do women literally glow through nine months of pregnancy?”
Sarah, mum of one. Read more...
Pregnancy worries, fears and stress
Having a baby changes everything and it’s very common to worry about the future. Many women ask themselves questions like:
- How will I cope with giving birth?
- Will my baby be OK?
- Will I be a good mother?
- Will this change my relationship with my partner?
- How will we manage for money?
- Can I go back to work or education afterwards?
- Will I still have a life of my own?
- Will a previous pregnancy problem happen again?
- Will something that I’ve done/eaten/drunk harm the baby?
“It always felt as if the appointments were a long way apart. Because it was my first baby, I constantly wanted reassurance that everything was okay and worried all the time that something would go wrong."
Esther, mum of one
How your changing body affects your feelings
Pregnancy changes your body, which can also affect how you feel. Some women love the physical experience of being pregnant and feel strong and positive. Others don’t enjoy pregnancy or like the way they look and feel. For example, you may have concerns about how much weight you’re putting on and how long it will take to lose it. Or you may be feeling sick or tired, which can all make you feel fed up.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. We are constantly bombarded with seemingly perfect images of happy, healthy women having the time of their lives during pregnancy in glossy magazines and on social media. But the reality is often very different. Not everyone enjoys how pregnancy affects their body and makes them feel.
It’s natural to feel a bit anxious about how pregnancy will change your body. But it’s important to ask for help if you are having negative feelings that won’t go away or that are too much to cope with. Talk to your midwife or doctor if you have any concerns or worries about your changing body.
Sex, pregnancy and your emotions
It’s completely natural for your sex drive to change during pregnancy. Some women enjoy having sex while they’re pregnant and others don’t. This can sometimes cause anxiety for couples, especially if one of you wants to have sex and the other doesn’t.
There are many reasons why your sex life may change in pregnancy, such as:
- your pregnancy symptoms, such as morning sickness or tiredness, are putting you off
- you feel physically uncomfortable during sex
- you feel self-conscious about your changing body
- you or your partner are concerned that sex will hurt the baby
- your partner sees you as a mother, rather than ‘sexy’ (or you are concerned that they do)
- you or your partner are feeling anxious about parenthood.
Keep in mind that it is perfectly safe to have sex during pregnancy, unless your doctor or midwife has told you not to. Having sex will not hurt your baby.
Talk to your partner if you are worried about your sex life. It may help you both if you can talk about your feelings about sex, how they’ve changed and why. Talking together now can give both of you the chance to air any concerns or worries you may have. You may be able to defuse any tension and reassure each other. You may also be able to find other ways of being intimate with each other that doesn’t involve sex. You can also talk to your midwife if you have any concerns about sex during or after pregnancy.
Find out more about sex in pregnancy.
Coping with pregnancy worries and stress
Don’t be hard on yourself if you are anxious and stressed about these sorts of things.
You may have expected to feel excited and happy throughout your pregnancy, but no one can feel positive all the time. There are many reasons why some women don’t enjoy being pregnant. It doesn’t mean it was a mistake to get pregnant or that you won’t love your baby.
Try not to feel guilty about feeling down at a time when some people expect you to be happy. How you feel is how you feel and many people will understand what you’re going through.
“I felt really reluctant to get any help from anybody because I felt like I was being stupid. I have a lovely partner and a very supportive family unit and in hindsight I should have asked for help.”
Kate, mum of one
Here are things you can do to help yourself get through it:
Share your worries
Many women find that it helps to talk to someone they trust about what’s bothering them. Talking to people about how you feel can be a huge relief and help remind you that you’re not alone. Some women use online pregnancy forums. You’ll probably find that other people are having similar experiences and you may get some good ideas about how to deal with any problems.
You may also find it helpful to talk to your midwife or doctor about how you feel.
Make a wellbeing plan
Our online Wellbeing Plan is a tool that helps you start thinking about how you feel and what support you might need in your pregnancy and after the birth.
You can use it to help you talk to your partner, family, friends or midwife about how you are feeling.